My 92-year-old mother has a line she likes to repeat:
“Parenthood is a life sentence.”
She says it with a smile, because she knows she’s right.
I think about that line a lot, both as a parent of three and as an advisor who works with families at every stage of life. There’s this idea that floats around (especially during graduation season) that once your children have their degrees and their first apartment keys, the financial chapter of parenthood wraps up neatly. They’re on their own, you’ve done your job, and it’s time for us to focus entirely on retirement.
The reality is a lot more complicated than that.
Nearly half of all parents with adult children have had at least one move back home. They’re called the “boomerang generation,” and for millions of families, their return reshapes everything from household budgets to retirement timelines to the way parents think about their own financial future.
The question isn’t whether you’ll help your children, but how to do it in a way that doesn’t jeopardize everything you’ve worked so hard to build.
“Parenthood Is a Life Sentence”
When your children are going through school or heading off to college, you’re making an enormous investment in them, financially, emotionally, and in terms of wisdom, values, and experiences. I think of it a bit like being an equity owner: you’ve poured everything into this person, and rather than money, the return on that investment is the joy of watching them become well-educated, hardworking, good people who can thrive in all aspects of life.
And here’s what catches many parents off guard: after years of being the primary financial provider, you also don’t just step away. Instead, your role shifts.
You go from being, in a sense, an equity owner of your children’s lives to something more like a financial resource (often a lender, a guarantor, or a safety net they can rely on when life doesn’t follow the script).
And in all my years as an advisor, I’ve never met a parent who didn’t want to help. That instinct doesn’t fade when your child turns 25 or 35 or 45. If anything, it gets stronger, because you know exactly what they’re up against. The question is how to do it in a way that doesn’t put your own future at risk.
A Note to the Class of 2026 (and the Parents Who Raised Them)
As we enter graduation season, there is a strong sense of accomplishment. You’ve watched—or are about to watch—your children cross the stage, and you’re rightfully celebrating the end of a long academic journey. While the goal is always independent flight, the most resilient financial plans are those that account for the “just in case.”
Acknowledging the possibility of a “boomerang” phase isn’t a lack of confidence in your graduate; it is a hallmark of sophisticated planning. By preparing for whatever life brings next—whether it’s a seamless career launch or a temporary regrouping at home—you ensure that your support remains a strategic choice rather than a financial surprise.
Related: Click here to read “How to Build Wealth in Your 50s: Six Areas That Deserve a Fresh Look”
The Boomerang Generation: Why Children Are Coming Home
If your adult child has moved back home, or you suspect they might, you’re in very large company.
The National Association of Realtors reports that 41% of their respondents had adult children living at home in 2025, up from 18% in 2015. This is the boomerang generation in full effect, and it’s driven by forces well beyond any individual family’s control:
- Housing costs have made it harder to start independently. Between elevated interest rates and home prices that have outpaced entry-level wages, many young adults simply can’t afford rent or a mortgage on their own yet.
- Career paths take longer to stabilize. Graduate school, job changes, gaps between positions, and the rising cost of living mean that, for many, the timeline from diploma to financial independence has stretched considerably.
- Life doesn’t always go according to plan. Divorce, health setbacks, or a business that didn’t work out can bring adult children back home while they regroup and rebuild.
I’m living it myself (and I’m glad to be). My oldest daughter graduated from college last May and is back home while she completes a one-year master’s program. She’s working part-time, saving money she’d otherwise spend on rent, and pouring her energy into a degree that’s going to open real doors for her. She’ll finish in December, and I expect sometime in early 2027, she’ll be ready to move out on her own terms. It just makes sense.
I’ve also seen clients put additions on their homes, convert garages into apartments, or build a small backyard cottage to create space for adult children (sometimes married with children of their own) to live in proximity. In South Florida, where I’m based, this kind of multigenerational setup is more common than people might think.
Families are adapting to the world as it is, and in many cases, it’s a deliberate strategy that benefits everyone involved.
What Financial Support May Look Like After Your Children Leave Home
The boomerang generation conversation isn’t limited to who’s sleeping under what roof. Even when adult children aren’t living at home, parents are often providing financial support in ways that look very different from the tuition checks and grocery runs of the earlier years.
Here are the patterns I see most often with my clients:
– Bridge loans for home purchases
I often see scenarios where an adult child is ready to purchase a home, and perhaps they are waiting for the proceeds from a prior home sale or a year-end bonus.
Because we build these scenarios into our clients’ financial plans, a parent can often step in as a short-term lender to bridge that gap. Once the child’s liquidity event occurs, the parent is repaid in full. It solves a timing problem without becoming a permanent drain on the parents’ portfolio. That kind of arrangement is more common than you’d think, especially with today’s housing market making timing so unpredictable.
– Mortgage help and guarantees
With property values as high as they are, many younger buyers need a parent to co-sign, provide a guarantee, or help with a down payment. Parents who can afford to do this often want to, and it can make a meaningful difference in the terms their child receives on a mortgage.
– Business financing
Some adult children want to start a business, and instead of going to a bank, they turn to mom or dad. If the parent has the capacity, acting as a lender can make sense for both sides. We help our clients determine whether they’re in a position to say yes, and if so, we make sure it’s structured with terms and expectations around repayment.
– A safety net for the unexpected
From divorce and health challenges to a grandchild who needs support, parents often become the financial backstop when something goes sideways for their children or grandchildren.
Nobody picks up their child from kindergarten thinking about what happens if that child goes through a divorce at 34. But those are the moments when having a plan in place makes all the difference.
Building Your Adult Children into Your Financial Plan
This is the part where I see the most tension with clients, and I understand it completely. You’ve spent decades investing in your children, and now you’re ready for it to be “your time.”
But a financial plan isn’t a static document; it’s a living strategy that needs to account for your family’s evolving reality.
The key here is balance.
We want to help you say “yes” to your family without saying “no” to your own future. And that’s why we audit these scenarios proactively. If you haven’t modeled how a potential bridge loan or a year of a child living at home affects your cash flow, that is exactly where we start.
4 Strategic Steps to Support Your “Boomerang” Child
Now, how do you navigate the intersection of family and finance? Because the technical strategy only works if the communication strategy is in place as well.
While the instinct to support your child is immediate, the execution should be intentional. Before committing to a financial move, it is essential to have two critical conversations: one with your advisor to protect your long-term security, and one with your family to protect your relationships.
Here are four strategic steps to guide those conversations without putting your retirement at risk:
1. Model “What-If” Scenarios Before Committing
Don’t make a decision based on emotional pressure. Have your advisor run a sensitivity analysis to see the impact of different support levels—such as a $100k gift versus a $100k bridge loan—on your 2026 and 2027 cash flow. You should know exactly how a “yes” today affects your travel or firm equity buy-in tomorrow.
2. Formalize Intra-Family Loans
Treat family financial support with professional knowledge. If you are acting as the lender, create a formal agreement that includes a repayment schedule. This protects the relationship by setting clear expectations and reinforces for your adult child that this is a strategic resource, not an open-ended gift. Ultimately, this helps strengthen the relationship.
3. Utilize “Bridge” Strategies Instead of Permanent Transfers
If your child is caught in a housing gap, consider a short-term bridge loan rather than a down-payment gift. By structuring support as a temporary liquidity solution that is repaid once their income stabilizes or their current home sells, you keep your core assets intact while solving their immediate problem.
4. Establish a Household “MOU”
If your child is moving back under your roof, don’t leave the arrangement open-ended. Establish a “Memorandum of Understanding” (MOU) that covers the sunset date (when they plan to move out) and their contribution to the household operations. This ensures the arrangement remains a proactive strategy rather than a source of domestic friction.
Beyond solving a temporary need, these strategies can also serve as effective tools for long-term wealth transfer when integrated into your estate plan.
When we meet with you and review your plan and where you want to be, we don’t just talk about your portfolio and your tax situation. We also audit how your children are doing, what’s going on in their lives financially, and what kind of role you’d want to play if they needed help.
The Nest May Look Different. The Love Doesn’t Change.
The empty nest, as a concept, has always been a little misleading. From a financial perspective, the nest is still very much intact for most families.
Your children might not be under the same roof anymore, but the financial ties are continuing, just in a different form, with a different structure, and ideally with a plan in place to support it all.
I’ve been doing this work long enough to see the full range of what happens in families. The celebrations and the curveballs, the call that your daughter got the job, and the call that your son’s marriage is falling apart. What I’ve learned is that the parents who feel most at ease are the ones who’d already thought through what they could do, so when the moment came, they didn’t have to choose between helping someone they love and protecting the life they’ve built.
That’s the work we do together. We help you understand what you can comfortably give, lend, or absorb, so that when your children need you (and they will, in ways big and small, for the rest of your life), you’re ready.
If you’re already a client and want to talk through how your adult children’s lives are factoring into your plan, let’s set up a time to walk through the scenarios together. We’re always glad to revisit the numbers and make sure you’re feeling good about where things stand.
And if you’re not yet working with Team Hewins, we’d love to learn more about your situation. Whether your children are about to graduate, already back under your roof, or somewhere in between, a conversation is a good place to start.
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Team Hewins, LLC (“Team Hewins”) is an SEC-registered investment adviser; however, such registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training, and no inference to the contrary should be made. We provide this information with the understanding that we are not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or tax services. We recommend that all investors seek out the services of competent professionals in any of the aforementioned areas. Certain information provided herein is based on third-party sources, which information, although believed to be accurate, has not been independently verified by Team Hewins. Team Hewins assumes no liability for errors and omissions in the information contained herein.